Father’s Day gives us an opportunity to recognise the fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers, guardians and other men who have helped shape our lives.
For some families, it is a joyful day filled with cards, phone calls and time together. For others, it can carry more complicated feelings. A father may be remembered rather than visited. A relationship may have been difficult or absent. Some men may have hoped to become fathers but never had that opportunity.
For that reason, Father’s Day is worth approaching with both gratitude and care.
At Lodge Tawhiri No. 166, we know that not every member is a father, and a man’s worth is not determined by whether he has children. However, every man can consider the example he sets and the influence he may have on those around him.
The quiet work of being a good father
Much of fatherhood takes place without recognition.
It can be found in going to work when tired, listening when a child needs to talk, keeping a promise, admitting a mistake and being present when circumstances are difficult. These actions may not appear especially significant at the time, but together they help create trust and stability.
Children often learn less from what adults tell them than from what they repeatedly see. Patience, honesty, kindness and responsibility become meaningful when they are demonstrated in ordinary life.
No father gets everything right. Good fatherhood is not about perfection. It is about accepting responsibility, continuing to learn and making a sincere effort to do what is right.
The men who guide without holding the title
Some of the most important male influences in a person’s life are not their father.
They may be grandfathers, uncles, older brothers, teachers, coaches, employers, family friends or trusted mentors. They are the men who offer practical advice, provide encouragement and take an interest when they have no obligation to do so.
Their contribution can be especially important for a young person who has lost a father or whose father has not been present. A reliable adult cannot replace that relationship, but he can still provide guidance, reassurance and a good example.
Often, these men do not realise how much their words or actions are remembered. A conversation, a correction offered with kindness or a simple expression of confidence can stay with someone for many years.
Mentorship within Freemasonry
Mentorship is also an important part of Lodge life.
A new Freemason has much to learn, from the customs of the Lodge to the meaning behind its ceremonies and traditions. That learning is made easier when experienced members are willing to give their time, answer questions and provide encouragement.
Good mentorship is not about telling another man how to live his life. It is about helping him think carefully, learn from experience and develop confidence in his own responsibilities.
The relationship also works in both directions. Older members offer knowledge and perspective, while younger members bring fresh ideas, energy and different experiences. A healthy Lodge benefits when generations listen to one another rather than assuming that wisdom belongs to only one age group.
The example each man leaves
Father’s Day naturally focuses our attention on fathers, but its wider message applies to all men.
Each of us has some influence over the people around us. We influence our families, workplaces, friendships, community groups and Lodge. That influence may be positive or negative, deliberate or unnoticed.
Being a good man rarely depends upon grand gestures. It is usually shown through consistent conduct: keeping our word, treating people with respect, helping when we are able and accepting responsibility when we fall short.
These are qualities that matter in fatherhood, mentorship and Freemasonry alike.
On Sunday 6 September, we wish a happy Father’s Day to the fathers and father figures within our Lodge, throughout Hamilton and across the Waikato. We also remember those who are no longer with us and acknowledge those for whom the day may be difficult.
To every man who has patiently guided, supported or encouraged another person, thank you. Your example may have reached further than you know.